By the looks of that guy there, I'm sure no one I know would talk to him if we saw him at a game. My boys Covino and Rich did a show about this a while back and I always wanted to make a list of rules for rules a guy should follow when attending a sporting event.
So I put a word out to friends and came back with some of their feelings on the topic and this is a start to the list. Thinking this could be merged with the sports doofuses list I posted last week.
Here we go.
1. Know the game before yelling obscenities at players, coaches or officials! - Kewaskum football coach Jason Piittmann brought this up. He's a coach so he hears people yelling because they don't have a clue what's going on but they know nothing good is happening.
2. No talking on the phone while waving to the camera because you're on TV. - I talked with my boy R.J. about this a while back that the Doorman (You know the guy you see behind the visiting dugout at every Brewers game) was auctioning his tix off and giving the proceeds to charity. He had rules for his seats and this was No. 1. And he's right on because it looks so lame to see the people sitting there waiving to the camera all night.
3. No gloves! - Only exception to this rule is the home run derby. A side exception is if you are taking a young kid to the game, i.e. your son or daughter or younger brother or sister. It's a means of protection. Wouldn't want them to get hurt at their first game.
4. No signs with network acronyms - You're an attention whore and only want to get on TV. Save that for your kids. The Under 15 rule applies here. Only witty signs are allowed. Show some creativity if you really want to get on TV.
5. Only apparel of the two teams competing on the field is allowed and only jerseys of players currently off the team or traded in the last nine months may be worn AT THE GAME ONLY. Don't wear that thing out, you look lame. You are not on the team, what are you doing? The nine month window gives you time to give birth to a new jersey. Exception is traded player's first return trip to your city.
6. Only leave your seat during a stoppage of play and do the same when returning to your seat. Don't think you're going to get back into your seat during the game and disrupt the 15 people around you to get back. C'mon man.
7. Don't fall asleep/pass out during the game! If you were too busy partying to enjoy the game, what the hell are you doing there in the first place? You paid your hard-earned money for that seat to take a nap? C'mon, get up, go home or go sleep in your car. Your favorite team's stadium is not a resting place.
8. If you are sitting close enough to the field know what is going on! You paid damn good money to sit in the front row, your favorite player hits a ball down the line and you reach down and grab his fair ball and keep the runner at first base from scoring. Yeah, you should be paying attention. There is two sides to this, however. If a fly ball is coming your way in foul territory hit by an opposing batter and fielders are coming your way, give them room. You want to the out, not a strike. On the other side of that, help your team. If your player hit that ball, stand tall, have a beer ready in case it's close. You'll be the unsung hero of the ballgame. Just ask this guy about that...
Family Guy Steve Bartman Video - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.
9. The Wave is not baseball worthy. - Nope, America's favorite past time is no place to have a wave going on around it. Football games, 1985 said it will allow the wave to pass, but not baseball. Just think, big spot top of the eighth and the opposition blasts a grand slam with the wave flying around the stadium. Yeah, fans should have been paying attention. Get a clue!
10. No body/face paint. This is the Under 15 rule again (well for the face paint. You people are sick!) Kids getting the team logo or fave player's number painted on their cheek is acceptable. Adults should not get their body painted with anything. Must I show you that guy at the top of the page? C'mon, no one wants to see that. Plus, I'm two feet from you and you're going to rub all against me in a minute because you're thirsty. Thanks for the coloring to my shirt. PRICK!
That's just a start, I know. There are way more and I love to hear them. Be sure to E-mail me at wilbersway@gmail.com or comment below. I get enough suggestions, I'll post another blog on the matter.
In my search on SI.com's Hot Clicks, which features Terrell Owens' part-time girl friend Kari Klinkenborg, who was on his show Monday night. See, I told you to keep watching that show! There is this great list of NFL players on-field dress code violations on his blog today. Take a look, some of the stuff is hard to believe.
But now that we were talking about what not to do at a game, it's time to talk about what to do, a the game. Well, just one rule is to admire the women. That's where todays' Nussie Hunter comes in. He would have picked Ms. Klinkenborg, but don't want to copy Jimmy Traina everyday.
Since I mentioned Chris Cooley, I figure it only natural to mention his wife, who is a Redskins Cheerleader who gave up her gig to marry the tight end.
I'd say she has quite the tight end herself.
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